I made mistakes and I will make up for it.

I will tell you straight in the face that no matter what trouble I'm in now, I had not regretted doing it at all. We live our life just once and I am glad that I am not going to live with guilt. Yes, I understand that all of you were worried about me and my future when I once told you my decision. But the thing is, I don't think I'm able to cope with the guilt if I chose not to help. I would start blaming myself that if I had given him that last chance, things will probably be different from now.
 
Well, we don't know where we will end until we try. Don't we?

Yes, I tried and I failed. But, I failed without regrets. I know I have done what my heart had wanted me to do and so, I have lived my life to the fullest. Yes, even when my deardear told me that this mistake that I had made may actually messed up our future together.

But.

I told him. It will not mess up our future together because we still have each other no matter what happened. And, we are still surrounded by a lot of angels to guide and help us along.

Yes. Life from now on will stop being a bed of roses. But, that's just going to be a while. 3 years, 4 years, 5 years? It will all pass. I'm blessed because everyone around me gives me their support. They are ready to catch me when I'm going to fall. I have a bunch of lovely people to walk this supposedly lonely path together. I am not going to be alone.

Many of you will start pointing fingers and blaming people. But, I will tell you straight in the face that it was my fault. I was the one who allowed it to happen. I was the one who had not took all my initiatives to look carefully and made sure that these risks were minimized to the lowest. I know, some of you will silently agree with me after I said this.

I've made mistakes and from now on, I will have to face the music. I'm not afraid to owe up to my mistakes because I clearly understand that it's easier to correct the first mistake than to find new things to attempt to cover that mistake and end up with a bigger mistake that you cannot control or make up for. 

I've passed the shaking phase, the what-the-hell-am-I-doing phase, the can-somebody-help-me-please phase, the I-am-so-gonna-kill-you phase, the what-is-going-to-happen-to-my-future phase, the I'm-lost phase. From now on, I'm going to chin up and settle all the problems one at a time. No more worrying, no more zoning into space and no more tears on this matter anymore. And, I will definitely take everything into my own hands. No one, I repeat, no one, can do anything to reverse my decisions on this matter.

And once again, I am a life example of "What cannot kill you, will just make you stronger".