I want to let go of the past, embrace my present and live my future with Grace.

With a new set of thoughts, beliefs, and a new look, I want to let go of the past officially today.

From today onwards, I want to forgive and forget whatever my brother and my family had done to me in a way or another. I had been frustrated about the bad decision that I had made once upon a time. I was anguish that I had not listened to what everyone had told me. I had been upset about the fact that I was more of less coerced into the plight I am in. I had blamed them, everyone of them in a way or another. I had wanted to do every single thing that I can to get me out of the debts that I am knee, or is it hip, deep in now. I even hate my brother and even disregarded him as my brother.

And here, I would like to urge everyone around me to do the same. Let go of it. There was not even a need for you to feel anguish about this at all, in the first place. I know some of you actually feel helpless that there is nothing that you can help me at all. But trust me, there is really nothing you can do except to feel the warmth from you. And, I wish to hear no more negative comments about this whole thing anymore. Don't call him names because he is my brother and not all the names that we had called him somehow. I pray that I can even get your support on this whole thing. Not just words like, "It's your family, you do what you deem fit." and then inside your heart, it's (*&^%$%^&*(. No more cursing and swearing and threatening to kill people on my behalf. Embrace this family of mine, just like how God will always embrace us regardless of what we had done. (Ya, I know, some of you will never really understand the faith behind Him. But, at least this is how I feel.)

Throughout these few months of going down under the dumps, I found the true friendship that surrounds me. I found the real meaning of being a part of a family. I found the true way I want to lead my life. I found the true love that always stood by me and shelter me anyhow. I have gained so much so much so much more than I have ever had. And, it walked me to the open arms of Him.

So, concentrate on the good that had I had actually reaped from it. Ignore the parts that was hurting and know that, I am still I. I am still leading the life that I used to lead. Or even slightly better than that. I am eating well, playing well, traveling and enjoying my life. I have no idea why is this happening even though almost 90% of my salary goes to all my debts. I think it's cause I have a doting boyfriend who is earning money now la. Lol! Life still goes on and I still have to pay the debts. But I know, God will have a way to help me somehow.

I strongly believe in the faith that God will have it sorted out for me at the end of the day. Pluck out the root of bitterness within yourself and lead your life with Grace. It's going to be so much so much so much better and peaceful.

With this, I end off on the note that, if I can do it, so can you. Open your eyes, open your hearts and pluck the root of bitterness away. You will realize that the world you are living in is so much cuter than you had always thought. Yes, there are bad things like war, natural disasters and you name it. But before disaster even befall on you, lead it the happy way. Be merciful towards others. Be less scheming and critical towards others. Be more gracious towards others. Go towards happy and inspirational things. Don't over protect yourself and allow yourself to get hurt because you will definitely get something out of it. Concentrate on improve the quality of how you lead your life. Embrace your life, no matter what plight you are in. Smile and be happy, my friend!

And of course, to all my loves who had been in this ship with me all these while, thank you. Thank you for lending me your shoulders, giving me advices, teaching me things, helping me with some logistics, watching me cry, feeling helpless together with me, cursing and swearing with me, finding for solutions for me, just listening to me whine, giving me treats, making sure that I am okay and many many many many more. All of you made this journey so much so much so much more bearable. Thank you.

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.