I am supposed to

I am supposed to:

1. Be really excited for the trip tomorrow, but I found myself not. My mood was down the past 2 days because of THE meeting. I even threw tempers at ah dear when I was supposed to be excited on meeting him today.


2. Feel happy the moment I start shopping. But today, I totally dread it and want to end it the moment I reached CWP. Ah dear thought I would be happy and contented just shopping around while waiting for him. No. I wanted to sit down at a corner and wait for him instead.


3. Wake up ard 5 tomorrow cos ah dear's papa's picking me up around 6 plus. But I am still not asleep. And, I hope I wun oversleep once again.


4. Feel liberated after the family meeting, but I felt pretty terrible after it. And oh, the main character did not turn up for the meeting. But I now know how rough these few years is going to be for the entire family (I dunno if it's a 5-member or a 4-member one anymore).


5. Be really excited and packed all my essentials into my bag. But, my toiletries are all not packed and I'm pining on tomorrow morning.


6. Be really full but I'm feeling pretty hungry now.


7. Do anything other than blogging. But, I just feel like stoning and moving my fingers and typing down my thoughts.


8. Be smiling and grinning ear to ear.

So, what the hell happened? I dun need a conclusion "It's Gynera!". Because I picked this over having period all of a sudden. I tried using exercising to hopefully counter the effects. Hormones should not be as powerful as what everyone thinks. We just have to think the right way ahead! But I think, it's probably because of trying to come out with a way to pay off the loans. And Ah dear's few words over the phone, "because you all never pay the bills". I feel bad that his brother's phone disruption was because of us overlooking some old bills. To top it up with me not finding anyway to return his mother's favor towards us.

Ya I know, I should probably stop thinking like how I tell my mama. I'm so supposed to start on my holiday in just a few hours. Sleeping now would most probably help. By the time I wake up again, everything is going to be alright again and I'll start enjoying my holiday!

So, lift my facial muscles and do the smiling exercise, click publish and sleep.

Good night world and hello phuket!